looneytunesshowfandomcom-20200222-history
Best Friends/Transcript
Game Show Host: Who was the first president of the United States? Daffy: Oprah! Game Show Contestant: George Washington! Game Show Host: What is the capital of Alaska? Daffy: New York! Game Show Contestant: Juneau! Game Show Host: How many sides are there on a triangle? Daffy: Eight! No, Four! No, Eight! Game Show Contestant: Three! Game Show Host: Name an ingredient in "Spaghetti and Meatballs". Daffy: Oranges! Game Show Contestant: Meatballs. Game Show Host: You've just won a million dollars! Game Show Contestant: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yea-- (Daffy turns off TV) Daffy: How is it that that dummy won a million dollars and I've Never won anything? Bugs: Oh, I'm sure it's just a matter of time. Daffy: It better be, because I don't wanna end up a bitter, jealous person. Say, I should go on a game show! Bugs: What game show are you qualified for? Daffy: Uh, "Wheel of Words"? Bugs: You don't know how to spell. Daffy: How about, "Price Is Correct"? Bugs: How much do you think this pack of gum sells for? Daffy: Thirty-three thousand dollars? Bugs: Good luck with that. (Bugs flips on TV) Game Show Host: Stay tuned for the new game show, "Besties", where knowing all about your best friend leads to big prizes. Daffy: *Gasps* We should go on that! We've been best friends forever! We know everything there is to know about each other! Bugs: I never tawt I would say this, but that's not a bad idea, Daffy Duck. Daffy: Why thank you...Uh, I wanna say, uh, "Bada-Blingya"? ("The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" Plays) (Bugs is seen eating Chinese food, Daffy comes in with a Besties program) Daffy: I did it! I got us on tomorrow's episode of "Besties"! Bugs: How'd ya manage that? Daffy: There are some things you shouldn't know about me...But ya better know everything else! Bugs: I'm more concerned with how little you know about me. Daffy: I know everything about you! Hit me with some questions! Go ahead! Bugs: Alright, what's my favorite color? Daffy: Pass. Bugs: What time do I go to bed at night? Daffy: Pass. Gimme somethin' easy! Bugs: Fine. Whens my birthday? Daffy: (when he says a wrong month, Bugs shakes his head) January... February... September... December... Jul... July! (now when he said a wrong number, Bugs shakes his head again) ''July 1st, July 2nd, July 3rd, July 4th! 5th! 6th! 7th! 8th! 9th! 10th...! 'Bugs: 27th. '''Daffy: July 27th! (Daffy's food accidentally falls under the fridge) Daffy: Well, happy extremely belated birthday. Or, happy extremely early birthday. (Daffy tries to get his food back, but accidentally grabs Speedy. Daffy screams) Bugs: Hey, Speedy. Speedy: Hola, Bugs. Daffy: (to Bugs) You said you took care of the rat problem! Speedy: (to Daffy) I'm not a rat, I'm a mouse! (Speedy zooms out of Bugs' house) Bugs: (to Daffy) You don't know anything about me! I bet if you look "self-absorbed" up in the dictionary, you'd find your picture. Daffy: My picture's in the dictionary? Is it a good one? What am I wearing? Does my beak look big? (Daffy grabs the food that he dropped under the fridge) Aha! Gotcha! (Daffy eats the food that fell under the fridge) Bugs: This is hopeless. (goes into the living room) Daffy: Don't get mad at me; those questions were impossible! I'll bet you don't know when my birthday is. Bugs: Your birthday is April 17th. Your favorite color is dusty rose, and you go to bed every night at 10:00 except on New Year's Eve when you go to bed at 8:30, because and I quote, "New Year's is a holiday invented by the media." Daffy: It is! Bugs: Forget it. Find a different best friend to go on that show. Daffy: But I need you! I prize prizes above everything else! This is my shot at finally winning something! I'll do anything! Bugs: Even if it means focusing on someone other than yourself for more than two minutes? Daffy: That sounds awful...but I'll try. Bugs: Well, Daffy, you know how much I hate to talk about myself, but, eh, leaders turn back the clock. It was on the east side of New York. My parents resided to make humble sorroundings- Daffy: (Daffy is snoring.) Bugs: Did I say New York? I meant, the planet Crypton! (Daffy shoots awake) Anywho, my parents knew our planet was doomed. So my father, Jor-El, built a spaceship. Jor-El: His dense, melleculate, structure, will make him strong. He'll be fast, virtually invulnerable, and he'll say "What's up, Doc?" discremently, whether he's talking to a doctor, or not. You'll travel far, my little Bugs. But we will never leave you. Daffy: You're from the planet Crypton?! Bugs: No, you maroon! That's the story of Superman! Daffy: Who is Superman? Bugs: I can't believe I hitched my wagon to you. Daffy: You have a WAGON?! Bugs: Daffy! Conventrate! (Daffy sits very still) Bugs: On me! Daffy: Oh. Sorry Superman! (Bugs sighs) Bugs: This is going to be a long night. (At the set of Besties) Voice: And now the host, with the most....Chuck Berost! (Crowd applauds) Chuck: Heh-hey, thanks everybody! Now let's see our contestants! First up, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck! Bugs: Eh....What's up, Doc? Daffy: It's a pleasure to meet you Chuck! I'm a huge fan! Chuck: Heh, heh. Say, how long have you two known each other? Bugs: Seventeen ye- Daffy: Uh, five years? Category:Content Category:Transcripts